Special Needs

I was walking the main street of a small town I had just moved to, which took me exactly 10 mins, and found the local thrift store. I’ve always loved thrift stores, but this time, I was in it because I was broke.

I remember a few years ago I prayed that God would teach me to be wiser with my money, and to trust Him to be a good steward of it. Be careful what you pray for! God means business when He answers us.

Anyway, back to being at the thrift store and totally broke. In hindsight, I see it was all in God’s plan, but this is the story of how I found that out. First of all, I had a SERIES of unexpected bills to pay at a time when I sensed the Lord’s leading and yet no provision besides debt was available. Worry. Worry, worry, worry..tiny prayer… more worry.

So, I gave into very overwhelming feelings of “oh my goodness, I can’t make rent this month what on earth am I going to do?” Can anyone relate? It went from money being tight to “this is serious”.

So found the few items I needed in the store and resumed walking with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was frantically brainstorming what to do, and then it came to me (and no, I will not sell my organs on the black market – although seriously considered).

Surrender.

I realized my utter dependence on Him to provide for me. Not just figuratively, but absolutely, take-Him-at-His-Word literally. I had somehow allowed myself to believe that I was to depend on myself! Ridiculous, right?

Thankfully God has shown me the error of my thinking, and did so in the sweetest, most gracious way..

I started walking back to my car (wondering if I could use olive oil to make it run) and I was still letting go of the analyzing, worrying train of thought. I thought of all things that I had done to deserve my current state, all the corners I could cut, all the extra jobs I could do…
When all of a sudden, a special needs man walking towards me looked straight at me, and with a wave of his hand said very intentionally “PRAISE THE LORD!”

That was it. It was as though heaven opened and the voice of God called down himself to his daughter and assured her that HE was her provider – He always has been. Who would take better care of me than Him?

I broke into a smile, then a laugh and then I started praising the Lord. Peace flooded my mind as only God’s miraculous peace can do. And I lived to pay my bills and to trust another day.