Part 1 "Mimi, I can't get lost up here, I don't know my phone number yet!"
A very brilliant reflection for a four year-old, but she didn't quite get the fact that up on a mountain you wouldn't be any better off knowing your number since there was no where to call it.
"But I don't have to worry, I can always find my Mimi"
It was a perfect Autumn day. Not raining, but grey with expressive clouds and a comforting dampness in the air. I wanted to take Hannah to a corn maze but she was being a brat, so I took her up one of the mountains in Victoria instead. It has a breathtaking view of the southern tip of the island, the Gulf Islands and the U.S. It also has a lot of rocks and crags to climb all over. I think it's important (at the right stage) to let a kid challenge their coordination, to blaze the trail, and to see where the paths go. Of course, the lessons I learned in the process were endless.
I would take her along the paths to cool places, but her independence was raring to go. She would say "follow me Mimi!" and take us dangerously close to the edge, or she would slip on a wet rock. "Let's go this way! I know where to go", but ultimately we would hit a dead end and I would say "Hannah, sometimes the best way to get to where you want to go is by sticking to the path". So I would lead by example and follow the path.. and I would hear her behind me "wait for me, oops! ow!" and I would climb up to some cool point and see another breathtaking perspective and say "Hannah come here, you've gotta see this.." and she would say "I'm coming, wait for me" taking the longest way to get there.
She was very entertaining, and she was always safe, despite how irresponsible my care for her sounds by reading this. I was always a step away to catch her fall. Although sometimes I would let her fall. No tears, no scrapes, just a startled look and a dirty bum. She needed to learn her limitations, a healthy fear of the terrain, and how to use self-control.
Again, I caught a glimpse of God, the wise, caring Father, leading us along this rocky terrain of life. Always leading us in the right direction, to wondrous things, even if we can't see past the rocks in front of us. I also heard my voice. "No God, it's THIS way... this is the way I need to go". And He lets me go that way sometimes to learn about why it's so wise to trust Him.
Part 2 We were playing outside at a new park and there was an impressive structure for her to climb on. She started to climb it, but eventually she got to a height that in my wisdom, I knew was too dangerous for her to climb up to. The chances of her falling were great, and if she did fall, she could have really hurt herself. So I told her not to climb any further. She questioned me "Why?" because that's her favorite question, but after I explained she obeyed me. Sometimes she doesn't obey and she whines because her priority is fun, despite the danger.
I was reminded of my interactions with God. His wisdom is indescribably higher than mine, and we are told in the Bible that he is a God that loves His children. So when he steers me in a direction that I think doesn't meet my goals of happiness or fun, I get really upset and confused and I whine and even shake a fist at the sky. But He knows. He's asked me to trust Him, despite not being able to understand all things when I want to know them.
Later on we were at the park and my niece fell and scraped her leg. Dr. Mimi rescued her by checking for blood, and then holding her really close until she calmed down. With tears streaming down her dirty face she said so passionately "Mimi, I really wish that didn't happen". It had ruined her fun. I said to her, "I know" and I almost started crying. I have lived those things. I sit on God's lap and say desperately "God, I really wish that had not happened". Sometimes that perspective lasts a few months, then I am grateful for what I have learned out of the situation. Other hurts last for years: open ended, but still with the assurance that God says "I know".
